In 2007, my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumour and in early 2008 he had a surgery to remove it. Many times I have wanted to write about this on my blog, but I was not ready to share it. Now I am and I hope it brings you some inspiration.
2008 was one of the scariest times of my life and I wasn't even the one going in for the 12-hour surgery - he was! Interestingly, while he was having surgery and recovering, I was in the process of going through my own surgery, heart surgery -- of the emotional kind. This one particular break up was quite gut-wrenching and artery-clogging (haha!), hence the heart surgery. I felt like I had lost all my faith in anything good. I felt so incredibly emotionally depleted, exhausted and self-destructive. Little did I know the person to bring me into the light was the one who was laying in the bed about to have surgery, my brother Sean.
Every day I hear people tell me their struggles such as self-destructive eating patterns, low self-esteem, emotional eating, difficulty making a decision, finding the courage for positive change and so on. The common element that gives people courage and the ability to heal what needs to heal is simple: as my brother put it so well, it's faith.
If you have a little faith, determination and love (for yourself), you will get there.
What brought this post on was a letter I stumbled upon while doing some cleaning in my apartment. It was a rather magical letter, one that Sean wrote to me when he was recovering and amidst all his fears, he took the time to help me get through the pain I was going through. I am going to share a snippit of what he wrote to me, because I have a feeling somewhere, out there in cyberspace you might possibly benefit from this glimpse, a ray of sunshine and positivity to help you get through whatever you are going through right this minute. I share this with you because it helped me. It brought me into the light when I felt scared and hopeless. I felt this way not because of someone else, but because I had lost confidence in myself. It is important not to blame others for your current position, but instead, be grateful for the learning you received in going through the process.
So here goes:
"When my tumour diagnosis was given I could not see the top of the hill. I had to climb. When I was in constant pain after my surgery, I could not see the top of the hill. Last week I went on the cross trainer for 45 minutes and lifted weights. I can see the top of the hill now. What made the difference for me was that I always believed that there was a top of the hill and that my determination, faith, and love would get me there. When I do an adventure race with Christina cheering me on, I will be at the top of the hill. And let me tell you it has been one hard fucking climb, but I will get there. YOU WILL GET THERE JOY. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF! Whether you believe it or not, your faith will get you there. Your family will get you there. YOU will get YOU there".
So there you have it, a letter from my brother Sean a couple of months post-surgery.
My brother ended his letter with this little quote that can be watched on You Tube - you will know it! Enjoy.
So no matter what you are going through, keep swimming! You will get there and YOU will get YOU there.
Be joyous and healthy!