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Jul 19, 2011 BY Joy McCarthy

Confidence is Sexy Ladies (and gents)

—  found in  Well-being  —

So I've kinda put myself in a vulnerable situation as of late with some work-related situations - yes, my own doing. This is a good thing of course, because I don't want to live a life without taking risks and neither should you... always looking over your shoulder or living with your tail between your legs so to speak is a VERY bad idea. And let me tell you, vulnerability is really hard. The funny thing is I've put myself in a vulnerable situation for a couple of months now and it only occurred to me recently what I've been doing. And the second I took stock and realized what I was doing I was like a turtle that crawled back into her shell or like a bear that's gone into hibernation.

And I share this story with you only because I hope that you can learn from my mistakes and the take-home message today my beautiful people is this.... Are you ready? It's not earth shattering, but it's important:

Confidence is sexy.

Being vulnerable is a good thing. But letting it get the best of you and deciding to play it safe in order to avoid embarrassment or making a mistake is just plain crazy and SO NOT SEXY. I'm not saying that your goal is to be sexy here, but I am saying that if you let that monkey brain of anxious insecure thoughts get the best of you, then yes... that's as unsexy as eating McD's and washing it down with a Diet Soda, then sitting on your couch all night watching soap operas only to fall asleep very late on the couch, wake up late for work with eye boogers and miss a very important meeting. This is NOT sexy.

Here are my top tips for getting sexier, more confident and loving YOU more. I promise you with my joyous heart if you follow these tips, it will change your life for the better.

1. Zap the negative talk immediately. If you find yourself day after day calling yourself fat, ugly, not worthy then stop is immediately. As I've said before on my blog, YOU ARE YOUR BEST CHEERLEADER. If you are critizing yourself everyday then how can you expect others to respect you? Love the vessel you are in, it's the only one you've got.

2. Do a full body scan as often as possible. Meaning, check out your beautiful body completely naked in the mirror before you shower, or while you are skin brushing at LEAST 5 times a week. You might be laughing thinking that is bogus, but try it. It's not easy the first time. Here are some tips on HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF NAKED.

3. Do affirm every single day to yourself just one thing you love about you. It can be physical or not. But do tell yourself by writing it down and reading it something aloud. Such as: I have the most beautiful legs. They help me walk to work, dance, climb stairs, run around after my kids, ride my bike, kick a soccer ball etc.

4. When you feel vulnerable, READ THIS BLOG: www.thedailylove.com or this one: www.dailyom.com and get yourself an account with www.happyrambles.com and send an email with what you are grateful for everyday.

5. Never ever put up with someone else putting you down, abusing you or making you feel less than you are! Now, constructive critisim is a good thing and you should listen to what others have to say. However, if you are in an abusive relationship that is full of negativity, lacking in love then do yourself a favour and move on. You have the ability to do this. There is no one chaining you to stay. It doesn't matter how many ties bind you to one person. If you've been completely miserable for a long time with no change in sight, in an unhappy relationship whether that be with a friend, lover or family member, then do a social detox. It's not healthy for you.

6. Lastly, DO EAT nourishing healthy food! This builds your confidence. If you are eating processed foods, sugar, fried foods and foods that are always cooked, or and this might surprise you -- a diet that is healthy but has absolutely no variety, you are definitely not getting enough nutrients. What are you going to feed your brain with? The raw materials of your neurotransmitters (brain chemicals), skin, hair, hormones can be found on your dinner plate. They cannot be found by obsessively popping pills or taking more supplements than food. If you don't have a good diet, supplements cannot make up for it.

I hope you have enjoyed this post and the next time you are feeling like a turtle, then read this post!

Be joyous!

Jul 19, 2011 BY Joy McCarthy
5 Comments
VeggieGirl   •   July 20, 2011

I still struggle a lot with #1 - I need to fully get rid of the negative self-talk. Thank you for this helpful list/article!

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Joy McCarthy   •   July 21, 2011

Kate   •   July 20, 2011

I wish I could look at myself named in front of the mirror. But when I do I see how overweight I am (40lbs), my stretch marks and scars. So I don't look in the mirror and I take showers in the dark. I hate taking showers...it means I have to see myself naked. I've tried all that self love talk - it doesn't work. It only seems to "work" on women who have near perfect bodies and angst over small things like a razor cut or a bruise.

Reply
Joy McCarthy   •   July 21, 2011

alison   •   July 27, 2011

hi joy, thanks for revealing your recent vulnerabilities and including your top tips for being a sexier, loving, more confident person. thought you might like this 'reveal' from sadie nardini as a light encouragement for your latest job-related, life-giving risk:) all the best! http://www.youtube.com/user/sadienardini#p/u/9/VoWd40h7ktQ

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